Monday, July 4, 2011

Doctoral dreams - Tales 2 Tell - Star

By Roslina Abdul Latiff

Pursuing a PhD is a long and arduous task, one that is best undertaken when you are absolutely ready.

OF ALL the questions my colleagues and friends ask regarding my doctoral studies, most of them are a variation of “How do you do it?” and “How do you cope?”

Pursuing a PhD would be a challenge for any other person, but with kids taking important exams, teaching final year students, handling final year projects and going for my doctoral classes at night, would be a pretty tall order for anyone.

It wasn’t an easy decision to make. When I tried to start my doctoral studies sometime last year, it was a bit hard to cope while holding two administrative positions as associate dean of the faculty and head of the Mass Communications Department at a private university in the Klang Valley, on top of teaching three final-year subjects every semester.

But I guess there is always that someone who “nags” you to start your doctoral studies. For me, it was my previous boss who gave me the nudge and support. It made sense — in the education field, a doctorate degree gives you an edge in the organisation you work, as well as leverage in the subjects you teach.

Roslina at the university library.

But most importantly, you need to do it for yourself. You need to be prepared mentally to start and finish as it is a huge commitment.

You also have to set your momentum because you are very much on your own.

For me, it started when I was “ordered” by the human resources group manager to go on leave, as my leave days had accumulated to more than a month. The truth was I really needed to rest, refresh and revitalise before diving into the New Year and the new semester. I felt so drained, deflated and depleted.

I took the leave as a good opportunity to get away from everyone and everything that constitutes work. It also gave me an opportunity to re-evaluate the important things in my life. The first priority was of course my children who were taking their SPM, PMR and UPSR exams in 2010.

So when I officially stepped down in December 2009, I started re-writing my PhD proposal. I researched, read and re-wrote my half-baked proposal with the hope that I would be accepted as a doctoral student.

When I was about to submit my application, I told my mother and she asked me again if I was sure. Mum was very worried if I was capable of taking in more stress and challenges given the difficult year I went through.

Although I wasn’t sure I could handle it, I knew it was something I had to do for myself.

The other unacademic reason for going back to school was also to find a neutral ground I could call “home” again — an unbiased place I could be like any other student, going through the rigors of night classes, searching the lonely aisles of the library to find books that are a prerequisite for any dissertation and treading the unfamiliar doctoral path with my trusted laptop.

So in between ferrying the kids for tuition classes on different nights of the week, preparing them for the upcoming exams and preparing for the classes that I teach, I go for my doctoral class on Thursday nights, find time to do my assignments and do lots and lots of reading for my doctoral, my classes and for pleasure.

How do I cope? The simple answer is “one day at a time”.

I don’t really think of it so thoroughly, neither do I dissect it in detail nor psycho-analyse it — I just do it.

But having said that, there are a few things that would actually help to ease anyone into a doctoral dissertation (or thesis, depending on where you study).

The first and most important is to have a productive supervisor-student relationship. There are great expectations on both sides.

Having gone through a Master’s thesis will give you a rough idea of what it’s like, but this time on a much bigger scale and with much more at stake.

Supervisor-student relationship

There needs to be shared expectations between your supervisor and yourself. The important question for you is: what qualities are you looking for in your supervisor?

For me, a supervisor who is supportive, accessible, professional, experienced in the research field, gives freedom to me to express my ideas, cooperatively listens and compassionate rigor is what I hope for.

I consider myself lucky as my supervisor, Assoc Prof Dr Faridah Ibrahim, or Dr Dah as she is affectionately called, has all these qualities. Since our industry background is journalism, hers being print and mine broadcast, we have hit the ground running as the platform for the discussion is solid.

We bounce ideas back and forth, and discuss what theories or models would work. She’s very frank and direct with her comments on my work. But best of all, she has treated me as an equal although I’m still a struggling doctoral student with a lot more to learn.

Your supervisor also needs to know what your expectations are, so take the time to chat about these fundamental things.

While you’re at it, ask your supervisor what they are expecting from you as a PhD student. When I asked Dr Dah, this was her reply: perseverance, critical questioning (which is required of any PhD candidate), organised, rigorous, willing to learn, a good communicator and open mindedness.

If by any chance your shared expectations are not the same, then you need to re-negotiate and come to a compromise on what is best. Resolving these issues and clarifying any misunderstandings should be done from the very beginning, before you take that giant bungee jump!

You also need to be proactive. Know your rights and responsibilities. Work out together, who is responsible for calling meetings.

For us, it’s simple — communication via email on simple and quick questions, text messaging for delivery of proposals or chapters and meeting for discussions after the reading process. This is where we identify problems and weaknesses plus find solutions and elucidate the research.

Set agendas for meetings if there is a need to; if not, just plunge into the discussion head first.

Keeping your supervisor informed about your progress is also an excellent idea as they will worry when you go AWOL on them. But most importantly, be assertive.

The other thing that I did when I embarked on my PhD was to have a peer support group. This group comprises colleagues in the same boat, who meet once a month over lunch or coffee and discuss ideas and progress.

Although all of us are from different fields and doing research in diverse areas, the intellectual discourse is great.

I believe in some universities, these peer support groups also include supervisors with all their supervisees. If everybody had a common time to meet, this kind of group would be good, but if not, something like what I have would be sufficient. Just a bunch of friends mulling over coffee, pouring out discontentment and suffering and sometimes, it’s not even about the PhD!

On some days, when you get back your chapters full of markings and corrections, you can feel disconnected from the rest of the world.

I’m not sure how smooth or rocky my journey will be in the next couple of years but since I started off with a 4.0 average, I’m hoping to continue fruitfully.

I have also pledged to my supervisor I would complete my thesis in the designated time and let her retire in peace without her going on contract because of me. And that is a promise I intend to keep to Dr Dah and to myself.

If I emerge from this experience still unscathed, intact and sane, I would be able to share those experiences with many who are still pondering on the question: “A doctoral study... to do or not to do?”

My answer is “just do”, but only when you are absolutely sure.

Roslina Abdul Latiff is a Broadcast and Journalism senior lecturer, mother of four and PhD scholar

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